Vision: Building Friendships with the Future in Mind

"A simple man believes anything, but a prudent man gives thought to his steps." - Proverbs 14:15

I am no expert on the subject, but I do know a thing or two when it comes to being a girl and having many guy friends. I grew up very rural and come from a community where everyone knows everyone’s families. With only 24 classmates, my class was like a big family. I lived on a farm/ranch and learned how to be rough and tough – a tomboy. My mom was a tomboy growing up, and I had a younger brother and a dad. All of the ingredients were there. Because of this I got along great with guys and had many male friendships.

When I came to the Honor Academy, I still found it easier to relate to guys and I would tend to lean toward their friendships. I’ve always had many close friends that are girls as well, but my primary preference was playing with the boys. During my first year as an intern at the Honor Academy, I got the privilege to have a wisdom lunch with the co-founder and wife of the President of Teen Mania, Katie Luce. I got to ask her questions and one of them was about guy friendships. Since I had been at the ministry, we were encouraged to find accountability within the same gender. Same gender this, same gender that… I was inquiring if there was something wrong with being close friends with guys. I was never inappropriate with them nor did I ever lead them. I never let them think that I was desirable and I wanted all the attention. I just enjoyed the activities and the mannerisms associated with the male gender.

Mrs. Katie Luce said something I’ll never forget. She said that when you get married, your guy friends fade into the distance. It is important to find and invest in those friendships that will last and are appropriate for the rest of your life. She gave me a relatable advice, since she grew up with a similar mindset and had many male friends previous to her marriage. She spoke of one example where she and Ron had just recently been married, and Ron was out of town at an event or conference. She had not gone with him for some reason and was tending to things at home. One of her guy friends in the area stopped by and asked if he could visit for a bit. As he was a good friend, she thought nothing harmful of it. It was after he left that she realized how the situation appeared. If anybody would have seen this there could have been rumors and assumptions. I just wasn’t worth it. From that point forward, unless one of her guy friends was acquainted with her husband, she could not spend time and invest in that friendship.

We are made for relationship, but we need to give thought to the friendships we invest in.
~ Written by Ranee, an Honor Academy Alumni

It has been said that if you want to know who you'll be in 6 months, just look at your friends. Who are your close friends? Would you want to look like them in 6 months? The wise gives thought to their ways..